ogod how did this get hear i am not good with computar

I had to rant a little about religion, given that it is indeed the season. With so many people enjoying the solstice period in their own unique ways (the majority getting pissed and stuffed full of food) it was after a long period of no sleep and one-too-many glasses of Pepsi that this came tumbling from my brain, through my fingers, to leap onto the internet.

In my view:

A religion is a psychological manifestation of a belief in the supernatural and/or metaphysical, herein defined as 'quantum'; which is in and of itself, not a bad thing. A religion as defined by society is a codex of various moral guidelines, dogma and ritual with an adherence to the subject of my first statement. As with anything that is dictated via the stark and impartial means of words on a page, it is for the most part purely subjective and open to personal interpretation. This would mean that it is inherently flawed, or indeed a good thing to aspire towards; in equal measure.

Do you truly believe that you need to use the belief in a series of values prescribed by the forerunners of an ancient society or a belief in the (frankly debatable) existence of theological entities to justify or supplant your own moral and ethical values? The question is for you, and you alone, to answer, as everybody has their own means of comfort.

My religion is that of myself; a constant quest for greater knowledge and skills taken at my own pace, forever changing, always under scrutiny and subject to change at the drop of a hat. It could be called science, as I am always searching for knowledge and understanding.

I tend to call it life.

So keep on living as you would. Give it a moment's thought or none at all. Most of all, though?

Realise the potential you have, as what you are, and what you can become. You're all good people.

Enjoy your life.

I'm fed up with opening letters telling me that due to slipping out of my overdraft limit by 10p, I'm being charged £6 for the day and £10 for the month; which I can't afford. So then the charges increase drastically, day by day, month by month, and I can't pay my way out.

The debt is spiralling, I currently have no income, no job. Business collapsed and I almost failed uni back in May because of all that shit, along with various other things going on at the time. My claim for JSA is on hold, and the appointments at Citizen's Advice are booked up until mid-October. I've sold everything worth something except for a single bass guitar, which I need in case I get a job playing bass, an option I'm currently holding out for as one employer seemed quite enthusiastic. That all comes to naught in the face of money worries though.

I just want to run away.
EDIT: As an aside, my 23rd birthday was fun. >.>

Brain melting

ohgodtheterrorandtheawesomeandthewholebeingclosetopeoplething<3

ONE - Spell your name without vowels: Mchl
TWO - Are you single?: Yes
THREE - Whats your favorite number?: 2
FOUR - What color do you wear most?: Black
FIVE - Least favorite color?: Puce
SIX - Favorite candy?: Skittles
SEVEN - What do you smoke?: Lucky Strike Red, out of choice. Otherwise, Richmond when I'm dirt poor, or the occasional bit of weed.
EIGHT - Are you happy with your life right now?: lolno
NINE - Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?: Yeah, Ray Feinnes. But he's bald.
TEN - What is your favorite class in school?: Music.
ELEVEN - Do you shop at hollister/DC/Bluenotes?: I AM FROM THE UK
TWELVE - How do you make money?: Fixing people's computers as and when I can. Finding a job = difficult, and my business collapsed \o/
THIRTEEN - Who is your best friend?: Hawk.
FOURTEEN - Where do you go to school?: Just finished my BA(Hons) in Music Practice at UCLan.
FIFTEEN - Are you outgoing?: I can be.
SIXTEEN - One word to describe you?: Weird.
SEVENTEEN - Favorite pair of shoes?: My 2004 anniversary Converse. <3
EIGHTEEN - Do you own big sunglasses?: No
NINETEEN - Where do you wish you were right now?: Minnesota.
TWENTY - What should you be doing right now?: Sleeping.
TWENTY ONE - Do you have a crush on anyone right now?: Yeah.

HONEST SECTION:
Honestly, what's on your mind right now?: Money worries.
Honestly, what are you doing right now?: Smoking, typing, waiting for the kettle to boil.
Honestly, have you done something bad today?: I think... yes.
Honestly, do you watch disney channel?: lolno
Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?: Mum
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?: Yeah. ._. It's an ugly feeling.
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?: Liars.
Honestly, do you bite your nails?: Finger AND toenails.
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?: Yes...
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?: Not really.
Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?: Yeah. Hehe.

THE CANS:
Can you blow a bubble?: Yes
Can you dance?: No, I look like I'm being electrocuted.
Can you do a cart wheel?: Yes
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: I've never tried
Can you whistle?: Yes
Can you wiggle your ears?: Yes
Can you wiggle your nose?: Yes
Can you roll your tongue?: Yes
Can you make a clover with your tongue?: No

ANGER SECTION:
What do you do when you’re mad?: Go very, very quiet.
What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?: Destroyed someone with words.
Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: I've made someone nearly kill themselves because I spent almost four hours laying into them. I don't like getting angry.

CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: Yeah.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yes.
Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?: yes.
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: No.
Ever cried over the same sex?: Yes.
Do you cry when you get an injury?: No.
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes.
Do certain movies make you cry?: Yes.

HAPPY SECTION:
Are you usually a happy person?: I was. o.o
What makes you the happiest?: Pizza.
Does being with your friends make you happy?: Yes...
Do you believe in yourself?: Sometimes I do. Then life fucks up again and I have to relearn.
Do you wish you were happier?: Yes..
Is being happy overrated?: No
Can music make you happy?: Sometimes.

LOVE SECTION:
How many times have you had your heart broken?: Too many.
Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d die for them?: Yeah.
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said ‘I love you'?: Heh, yeah. It always ends the same.

HATE SECTION:
Do you actually hate anyone?: Violently.
Have you ever been on a hit list?: Yep.
Are you a mean bully?: Not that I'm aware of.
Do you hate George Bush?: Eh, sure why not. RAGE TRAIN.

SELF ESTEEM SECTION:
Is your self-esteem extremely low?: yes.
Do you think you're good looking?: No, but some people think I am. More fool them.
Do you wish you could be someone else?: Constantly

LOOK AT ME:
What is your current hair color?: Mousey.
Current piercings?: Left lobe x2, left tragus, right nipple, labret, scrotum x2
Have any tattoos?: yes
Straight hair or curly?: Straight

CURRENTLY WEARING:
What shirt are you wearing?: Duck Hunt t-shirt, chequered boxer-briefs.
Necklace(s)?: None
Shoes?: No

HAVE YOU EVER:
Hugged someone?: Derp.
Been on the phone until the sun came up?: Only twice.
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: Yes, that was embarrassing. VERY.
Laughed so hard you cried?: Yes.
Got in a fight with someone?: Yes.

THE LAST:
Person you talked to in person?: Simon. Ugh.
Person you talked to online?: Citan. YAY.
Person you hugged?: Kiffy.

RANDOM:
Do you like surveys?: Eh.
Do you get along with your parents?: I do now, they gave me money for EF <3
Do you have mental breakdowns?: Only the one.

CURRENT:
Current mood: Apathetic.
Current music: Nobuo Uematsu - FFVII OST: On that day, 5 years ago
Current hair style: Mulletesque I suppose.
Current crush: ---
Current thing I ought to be doing: Getting breakfast and stuff
Current windows open: iTunes, Adium, Firefox
Current desktop picture?: A raccoon, in a coonskin hat.

THE DIDS:
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?: Yes
Did you ever run away from home?: Yes
Did you ever want to be a doctor?: Yes
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?: Good lord no

THE DOS:
Do you know how to swim?: Very well ^-^ It's one of the few things I'm good at
Do you like roller coasters?: Yush.
Do you own a bike?: Did >.>
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Yeaaaaah.

THE DOES:
Does hair loss run in your family at all?: Yes -.-;
Does your car get good gas mileage?: No car anymore.
Does your family have family picnics?: More BBQs than picnics..

THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yeah
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yes
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yes

THE HOWS:
How tall are you?: 6'3"
How much money do you have on you right now?: ...let's not answer that.

THE LASTS:
Last person you hung out with?: I can't remember.
Last thing someone said to you?: "Mouse.."

THE WHATS:
What are you listening to?: Now, the We Love Katamari OST.
What is the weather outside?: Fucking boiling. I hate sun.
What radio station do you listen to?: None
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Too long ago to remember.
What was the last thing you had to drink?: Tea!
What was the last movie you watched?: One of the NGE ones.

I have a business now, derp

Should be interesting. Harbl's is now 140coffee. Keep checking out www.replytoexistence.com until we actually get a website up there!

Was Carbon Monoxide poisoning :D

Please pass the milk
Please
Please pass the milk please

One of the guys who comes into the shop got me hooked on Twitter. FUUUUUUUUCK. twittertwats: mousefag

Nothing much of note has happened. Been VJing quite a lot, my cashflow has dried up, going to Eurofurence (lol bye money), discovered that eeePC 2G wasn't made to have a decent OS installed on it so I've kept bloodbeauty waiting for ages: sorry!

Had my dissertation research on plant biomusic hit a massive brick wall until a lovely French Canadian fella, Maxime Rioux, told me of the experiments he'd been doing with his automatons hooked up to a plant responding to various stimuli, which has got me started in an email dialogue with him. The thought of starting an academic journal for that kind of thing hasn't passed me by completely, but wondering if it's a worthwhile idea or not has kinda stopped me in my tracks. Would enough people be interested? I'm sure if I did it, time would tell. Lord knows finding things about biomusic is hard enough as it is.

Anyway, there's some cold pizza and a few fags to have before bed, and it looks to be another early start tomorrow. Eek! Looks like I'm gonna be lavishing my blog with some care and attention in the coming weeks, either that or I'll ignore the fucking thing again.

And ill. Generally out of commission over Christmas, I feel fucking awful. New house is ace. Won't be in #northernfurs for a while to avoid drama. x

1. Do you like blue cheese?
I hate cheese unless it's on a pizza. THAT MEANS NO

2. Do you own a gun? A shotgun? or rifle?
A lovely hammered 12-bore.

3. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite as a kid?
BRITFAG REPORTING IN. Kool-Aid can fuck off.

4. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Yes. For me, they usually mean a hospital stay afterwards.

5. What do you think of hot dogs?
If you need me I'll be in my lab :3
Nah, they're tasty tasty remnants.

6. Favourite Christmas Movie?
None.

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Relentless Juiced.

8. Can you do push-ups?
Yes, but not so well anymore.

9. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
My labret piercing.

10. Favorite hobby?
Bass playing.

11. Do you have A.D.D.?
No, I just have a short attention span.

12. What trait you hate about yourself?
Everything.

13. Middle name?
James

14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
Ow my back
This laptop is melting my balls, maybe I should put some boxers on
Man, I -really- need to sleep

15. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly?
Coffee
Relentless
Cherry Coke

16. Current worry at the moment?
Oh shit, the list is far too big

17. Current hate right now?
University lecturers that know not their arses from their elbows.

18. Favorite place to be?
Away from this fucking house. Blue's place!

19. How did you bring in the New Year?
At Hawk's parents place, with my ex falling asleep on some fat ginger spod

20. Where would you like to go on vacation?
San Francisco, at the moment. This will probably change by morning.

21. Name three people who WILL complete this?
Haven't got a clue. MURRIES ALREADY DID IT

22. Do you own slippers?
Yes, they were the princely sum of £2.50. ABSOLUTE FUCKING BARGAIN. ilu asda

23. What shirt are you wearing?
Fresh air yo'

24. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Is the Pope Catholic?

25. Can you whistle?
Melodically!

26. Favorite colors?
Lime green, purple, and scarlet

27. Would you be a pirate?
YARR HARR FIDDLE DE DEEE
Ask me about your Hackintosh boxes and the destruction of Microsoft today.

28. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Depends on what mood I'm in, and how rusty my Latin is that day.

29. Favorite girl's name?
Siobhan

30. Favorite boy's name?
Haven't got a clue.

31. What's in your pocket right now?
There is only natures pocket. I can put a silicon fox-dong in there if you want...?

32. Last thing that made you laugh?
Pinky forgetting the unlock code of his phone.

33. Best bed sheets as a child?
Twister.

34. Worst injury you've ever had?
BULLET IN THE erm, side

35. Do you love where you live?
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

36. How many TVs do you have in your house?
1. No, wait, 2. Pinky has some fucking HD giant

37. Who is your loudest friend?
Scottish Jen 1. She puts Foghorn Leghorn in the "church mouse" category.

38. How many dogs or cats do you have?
None.

39. Does someone have a crush on you?
Supposedly. ._.;

40. Who is your favorite author?
Natsuo Kirino or Tom Holt.

41. What is your favorite candy?
Skittles

42. Favorite Sports Team?
I hate competitive sport

43. Do you like your job?
It's alright, just doesn't pay much. AT THE MOMENT

44. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Canada.

45. Where did you go on your last vacation?
At a furcon, on top of a mountain in East Germany.

I got admitted into hospital on Wednesday night, they did loads of tests and stuff in the wee small hours of Thursday. My lumbar puncture took 17 attempts due to the mess my AS has made of my lumbar vertebrae, CT scan, etc. I can't really walk at the moment -.-

Basically, all the headaches I've been having they think are caused by meningitis. Yay. I have to wait until the three teams of doctors and consultants stop arguing about whats wrong with me before I can have a diagnosis >.<

And I bought a MacBook. >.>;

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW

;.;

22 sucks

 Seeya there, if you're going.

If not, I'll bring yu back something nice. IF I CAN AFFORD IT D:

For some reason, my fingers smell of pesticide. It's really starting to bug me, to be honest.

In reply I expect: Your deepest, innermost thoughts about the position of cauliflower in the British diet.

...do I -really- sound like Graafen? :(

Update tiem. Harbls (Preston) opens officially on Monday. We've done a shitfuckload to get this place ship-shape and are still working around the clock to make it lovely. We've all had some kind of injury for our sins, too. I got my foot crushed by a supercomputer today :D

Win all around.

Everything has been going hideously wrong for the past few weeks, especially where friends are concerned.

I'm worried, always am, always will be. -.-

I bought a new PC case for £76. I'm broke. WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?! -.-;

I went to bed at 6am and missed uni, again. This is becoming a habit :/

Hooray! The end of another month. Almost.

I'm broke, and would like to sell things. If you know anyone that wants to buy a Fujitsu Siemens laptop from hell or a lovely Yamaha BB605 Bass Guitar, let us know. Also, opped on #northernfurs. I have no idea why, but it's amusing.

I love everyone this month, too. :D